Monday, June 26, 2006


"Yankee Angel." Well, I declare. I certainly know that some . . . shall we say . . . "less-than-celestial" beings dwell Nor*h of the 39th parallel and 43 minutes, but "Angels" and "Yankees" are terms that remain baseball teams when separated, and a chimera when conjoined. ; p Truly, your pseudonym baffles me, though I completely understand your reluctance in revealing your true identity.

As to the selection of the new assistant dean of student life . . . it must certainly be a woman, and a woman it shall be. This is because at Christendom, women are the only ones who notice a low neck line, or a skirt that is one inch "too short." Madame Bar. would be an excellent choice, I believe, because of her reputation (unmerited though it may be) of favoring of students endowed with both an X and a Y chromosome. This is not, to me, an unpleasant prospect. Everyone knows that the XX chromosome contingent already gets away with far too much. This is why we have such strict dress code rules: to give them some sort of idea of what it's like to be a guy. To a woman, having another woman tell you your blouse is too small is like a guy having the tar beaten out of him in the Basement of Ben's: an everyday occurrence at Christendom, and none too pleasant, to be sure. Besides, everyone knows women are always testing the boundaries, pushing the envelope. Half an inch here, 1/8'' there. If the Assistant Dean loosens up on them in the slightest, they'll be wearing strappy little Birkenstocks before you know it. And it's all downhill from there, I guarantee. In no time, one won't be able to tread the path from Coeli to the Chapel without wading through a veritable sea of plucked-out eyeballs. In conclusion, and in my humble opinion, I repeat that Mme. Bar. would be a most advisable choice. Ancillaries such as continental re-enactments of Vienna and Lepanto would simply be frosting on the cake.



bakerstreetrider said...

LOL! A sea of eyeballs...lovely.

TheresaMF said...

Agreed. LOL.