Sunday, August 06, 2006

Ode to Christendom Drinkers

After having lightly partaken of my own particular favorite, I thought I would add an ode to Christendom drinkers. It ain't good, and it ain't metered, so don't even look fer it. I also can't seem to reconcile Belloc's "think it no sin to drink 'til they spin" with the teaching of the Catholic Church. But it does seem to be a pervasive belief at Christendom.

Here be to ye all, ye swillers of booze,
Who swiftly run empty yer liquor container
And run off yer mouth however ye choose
Ye one-hundred-proof ad-hoc entertainer.

Ye think 'cause yer Catholic that ye can be drunk
And it's part of the Faith that ye stumble about
Because of yer quaffing yer grades have all sunk
And ye've proven yerself a damnable lout.

But ye've got yer comrades, aye, s'long as they last
For drunkards ain't known to remain solid friends
They poison their brains wi' a tip o' the glass
And head toward their deaths as the drunkard's path tends.

So lift up a glass and give toast to the sot!
They've all drunk up deep and are all feeling well
They choose being sloshed as their portion and lot
And sing all the glories of living in hell.

3 comments:

Texas Teddy said...

Suhweet! I'm a great fan of your poetry Geoff!

Fidelio said...

Ah, Geoff. This (frighteningly enough) makes me miss Christendom.

Sylvia said...

Geoff, I think some of the heavy drinkers you lambast truly have drinking problems. We should react more with compassion and charity than with contempt, because it's a very difficult habit to kick, once started--and who's to say that in their place, we would not have made the same mistake. Do your remember that speaker they made us all go to, the Protestant recovered alcoholic? It really bothered me how the salient points of his talk were lost amid all the outcry of "Alcohol isn't evil!" Ok, so we know it can be all right to drink sometimes (family reunions are a great example), but obviously that does not mean that it is fine to drink all the time--and addiction to alcohol can and does destroy lives. In the end, I agree with you that you cannot reconcile the abuse of alcohol with a life of virtue.